Weddings: Senegal VS. America

Weddings...one thing is for sure...they seem universal. They are quite the festivity. They bring excitement. Join two people. Require a lot of planning and money. And are the thing to do these days.
Just by chance I had the good fortune of going to my friend's wedding while home in America. What better occasion to get to be reunited with my old college friends?! Weddings are such a joyous occasion! How happy they will be! The wedding and festivities were absolutely perfect. My friend had planned a beautiful wedding. Everything just right. She looked stunning in her white dress. The bridal party was gorgeous, in a buttery yellow...perfect for the outdoor setting for their summer wedding. The reception was wonderful...perfect mix of class with fun and festivities. The food was delicious, the drinks were flowing. A good time was had by all. I felt lucky to be included in this event. The "beginning" for Jess and Jamie. Glad I got to wish them the best in their future together. Glad to see and feel the love between the two. Happy to share in their joy.
Upon returning to Senegal, I was happy to hear that the double wedding planned for my brothers had yet to take place. I had been to weddings in my village (aka had lunch at the wedding) but this was different. THIS meant that I got to see it beginning to end, be a part of it, and see what the customs really are. I was excited. I even braided my hair. Yes, imagine these Steiner ears poking out from behind my braids. I looked like a mouse, but they all thought I was really pretty.
Regardless, the wedding was...interesting.
And to write every detail would be veeeery long and tedious, therefore I am opting to do a comparison. To put it into perspective. Mind you, this perspective has been skewed after enduring a week long Senegalese celebration...but it's all true nonetheless...
*while young women in America rush out to have a crazy, drunken bachelorette party with their closest friends, Senegalese girls have a hair braiding party to see if she cries. It's all women, and the bride to be is in the middle of the circle getting her hair braided in "cosan," a traditional style that includeds gold earrings being put in the hair. which brings me to my next point...
*Americans are lookin for a rock, but there are no wedding rings in Senegal...just in the bride's hair.
*There's no need to rent the country club, church, or local VFW, it's all outdoors, all at your house!
*While American women diet like crazy to fit in their dress, Senegalese women are fed gossi (a rice, milk, and sugar porridge) every night after the wedding to fatten em up for their husbands.
*No stressing out about who to ask to be your bridesmaid, if you're lucky and have enough money, your friends and family will do "hotesse" and wear the same boubou.
*No having to cut the guest list down, we like em big, and we like people to come from Dakar to Mauratania. Thousands of people coming to your wedding...that's just normal.
*Instead of having to invite your annoying family members/inlaws, you have the griots which go around singing your praises and demanding money. Trust me, these griots are way worse.
*Our brides do white dress, white veil...Senegalese prefer dark, and head covered and face covered with thin black veil.
*Instead of getting walked down the aisle by your father or family member, you arrive in a bundle at night to be brought to your new husband's mother.
FOR THE RECEPTION...
*Fancy feast, killing a cow...same difference. Lots of meat...lots.
*Instead of open bar, there is lots of sugary, cold, cow's milk (kossam)
*There is no buffet style, but it is BYOB (bring your own bowl). Everyone brings a lunch bowl to my house, and then everyone gets one of those, and one of meat and rice, which is from the groom's house (that is as long as the bowls last).
*And instead of waiting for the bridal party to arrive, we sit on mats with 50 people on top of you, waiting for lunch to come.
*You don't throw rice at the new bride and groom, rice is thrown by the talibe boys fighting over the left over lunch bowls.
*No DJ or string quartet, but get someone a bowl, and get to clappin and you got yourself a party.
*There's no introduction or dance of the new Mr. and Mrs., it's more like..."Where are they at all??" The bride's confined to a room, and the groom is MIA so he doesn't have to give money to people and can avoid the madness.
*Crying cause you're happy is replaced here with giving money away to people. LIterally everyone is asking for money, and people of the groom's family are supposed to give money.
*Where we spend lots of money on finding the perfect wedding gift, they bring over the "bagage" which means a million bowls, pans, clothes, etc...all gifts for the family, and most will be given away to extended family and friends.
*Going on a tropical honeymoon destination is ALMOST the same as a month long stay in your sweltering hot new room. (You can leave in the evening to get ready for the night with your husband.)
*Finding a Holiday Inn to house your guests isn't a problem, they'll just stay at YOUR place.
*Last but not least, when in doubt...invite a foriegn, white girl to dance, entertain with her language skills, and give money out because we all know...those American girls just LOVE a fairytale wedding...

And fairytale it is...
whether here or there, one thing is true...thus far, as crazy and chaotic and different as these weddings are, or are from the wedding I shall have (Inshallah), they have turnned out successes, with two people joined. Families and friends happy, full, and wishing the newlyweds the happiest of happy...

The medical world says that...
about 55% of a human body is made up of water.
and Scientists state that...
about 70% of the plant earth is covered in water.
Well, this Peace Corps Volunteer is here to tell you...
about 75%of my day/time revolves around...
you guessed it...water.
I come from the land of America. The land of every house has a spigot. In the kitchen. In the bathrooms. Outdoors. If you want to drink, you can go to these spigots. Or the refridgerator. Or even IN the fridge to grab a BOTTLE if the tap "just doesn't taste right." I come from...ice is a must, not a luxury. Drink 8 glasses a day to be healthy! Shower--daily. Bathe to de-stress. Leave the tap running while you brush your teeth. Swim in the summer, even in the winter! Let's face it...water isn't something we think about, but it's something that is abundant daily. We need it, we use it morning, noon, and night. And I love it.
I'll admit. I shower in the morning. Bathe at night. I drink store bought bottles--like 4 a day. I let it run when I do dishes. When my dad used to complain about the toilet running, I was like, "yeah, what's the problem?" Water wasn't a concern. It just was.
I've never been more aware of water than I have become in the past year. Before coming to Senegal, my friend recommended a filtered water bottle. It would be so handy! I could always have clean water! You never knew when it would be useful. Already I was concered about the water situation. We all know that many of the world's poorest countries don't have access to clean water. I didn't know what to expect, but dang it, I was going to be prepared.
When I arrived for training, it was filtered water only. On weekends when I would be at my house, without access to the training center water, I'd fill up and take it home to save in my room. I had to learn to shower out of my bucket, and how much did I need?? When I washed my clothes, was I wasting too much? And we only had one spigot in the house. Was everyone watching and keeping tabs on how much water I used??
During our med sessions it was all about: DON'T DRINK THE WATER! But DRINK A LOT OF WATER! Don't get dehydrated! And never, ever get in the river! In other words, I was petrified of the water. Who KNEW what I was going to catch. I was NOT going to be sick. I would be a healthy, safe volunteer.
And then there was demyst. My four day "vacation" with a "real" volunteer. Her water situation: a well. A well that was pretty far away. And twice a day she had to walk there, pull water, put the basin on her head, and carry it back to her room. Being that we were new, and this was all "fun and exciting!", Kate and I wanted to pull; wanted to attempt walking with it on our heads without spilling it. But THAT was fun for four days, would I really be able to do it for two years?
And then I got to site.
And I began to change. My water obsession took a turn. Most obviously was that I moved to the desert. Where there is no water. And there hadn't been water for the past 9 months. And it's temperature was over 100 everyday. My obsession turned to, do I have water with me at all times. And everyone thought it was so funny that the new, foriegn girl was ALWAYS carrying water. (Must be Evian, or cold water. She's too good for OUR water.) And I'd politely decline water from peoples "loondes," which is a clay pot to keep it cool. I can't tell you how long that lasted, but I could only drink water that was HOT for so long. So probably after a week or two, I was all over the unfiltered water. (I mean, the nurse in my town said the water was treated yearly...giddy up!) In fact, I didn't filter my water for about the first year being in Senegal (never got sick, I should note!). It was a matter of have a cool drink of water and take your chances, or drink hot water and be miserable. And I will say, I am not alone in this. Most volunteers will sacrifice health for a cool drink. There is nothing better than being able to buy frozen bissap (a juice here--aka senegalese popsicle) or ice. I'd say a major concern of my day is how and where I am going to buy ice. How to get it home without melting, and without my family knowing. I mean, at my house (not all houses in my town, but for mine) ice is a luxury. If we have an extra 25cfa (like 5 cents) or a guest, we'll buy it. I, on the other hand, have that luxury, and don't want everyone to know that there are days that I buy 2 ices-one in the morning, one in the evening. And maybe treat myself to those popsicles, too! I feel frivolous. I feel schemey. I feel refreshed.
Then there's the "robinet", as we call it. The spigot. There is one in my family's compound, and (alhumdiliah!) it works. Occasionally it is slow, and maybe twice it actually got cut off, but I'm lucky. Every morning I fill my bucket. Shower. Then I save the lasting water so that I can shower again in the evening. Again, I feel like I need to be sneaky for some bizaare reason. Like I am a water hoarding freak that has the need to shower twice a day. I will say, I'm not like some of my other friends. Ones that rely on a solar system. No sun, no water. Usually not a problem, but last week, when there was a HUGE double wedding in the village and the thousands of guests needed to drink, people needed to shower, the lunch bowls needed to be cleaned...the water...ran...o...u...t...and my friend and I were left rationing her drinking water, while everyone else was going to the river. The river...right now is more muddy than watery, and there was NO WAY I was going to drink it. Although when brought a bucket of it, while Kate opted for wet wipes, I did bathe with the muddy water (I mean, people pay big money for that stuff in the sates, right?!) Or my other friend, who has to pull water daily at her well, so therefore she opts to bathe in the river, muddy or not. Pulling water, my friends...it's harder then it sounds, and to have to do it daily, multiple times, carry it on your head...it really puts how much water you use in perspective.
Being in the Fouta, we tell ourselves that we have one saving grace...the river. We ARE the Senegalese Riviera. We may not have green. We may not have trees. But we DO have the river. (Most of us.) To this day, it creeps me out. As I said, we were told (repeatedly) do NOT get in. There is schistosomiasis. I was bound and determined to avoid the river. But, the river is social. The river is useful. The river is free water. The river is cool. That is where everyone in my town goes to wash laundry, dishes, bathe, swim, etc. I do all these things at my home. With robinet water. Water that costs money. And this is upsurd to them. Why in the world would I not go to the river?? It's so refreshing. And it has been, like the 3 times that I have been in. My friends have convinced me to go. My nearest neighbor, Kate, is a little fish. You can't keep her out of the river, same for many other volunteers. Again, it's a matter of staying cool and sane or gettin a little schisto.
My current water obsession is the rain. Ah, the glorious rain. Water from above. Cold, cold water. It's wonderful. It's short lived, but there's so much of it. And it is not to be wasted. Two days ago we had a storm that outdid any other storm I have experienced here. It started and just didn't stop. Rains usually last an hour, this was a rainy day. And it was in buckets. literally. Everyone was grabbing buckets, kettles, bowls, etc. They were washing things, bathing, and saving all they could with the water. They were all over the water situation. And it was coming in from all angles. You had to wade through my compound, and in fact, that is the downfall to the rain. The aftermath. The muddy, lake effect it gives the town. I have to reroute where I go in order to avoid the puddles. The water just sits in spots--throughout the entire rainy season. But have no worries, even this is not wasted. Go to the dieri, the side without the river, and you will find women bathing, doing laundry, and cleaning things in the puddle water.
Yes, water is always put to good use. Sometimes we (voulnteers) laugh at the silly things we do. Stand in a pan to catch our dirty bathing water, just to "flush" a clogged toilet. Save your laundry water to clean a floor. Wash your dishes with a cup of water, and then use that water to water a tree. Wash your hands in a dirty bowl, and then clean the bowl. "You still use water to brush your teeth?!" AH, yes...we have become quite innovative with our water. We have come to relalize no matter if filtered, unfiltered, robinet, well, river, rain, ice, or hot...water IS the most precious of commodities, and I can't get enough.