Weddings: Senegal VS. America

Weddings...one thing is for sure...they seem universal. They are quite the festivity. They bring excitement. Join two people. Require a lot of planning and money. And are the thing to do these days.
Just by chance I had the good fortune of going to my friend's wedding while home in America. What better occasion to get to be reunited with my old college friends?! Weddings are such a joyous occasion! How happy they will be! The wedding and festivities were absolutely perfect. My friend had planned a beautiful wedding. Everything just right. She looked stunning in her white dress. The bridal party was gorgeous, in a buttery yellow...perfect for the outdoor setting for their summer wedding. The reception was wonderful...perfect mix of class with fun and festivities. The food was delicious, the drinks were flowing. A good time was had by all. I felt lucky to be included in this event. The "beginning" for Jess and Jamie. Glad I got to wish them the best in their future together. Glad to see and feel the love between the two. Happy to share in their joy.
Upon returning to Senegal, I was happy to hear that the double wedding planned for my brothers had yet to take place. I had been to weddings in my village (aka had lunch at the wedding) but this was different. THIS meant that I got to see it beginning to end, be a part of it, and see what the customs really are. I was excited. I even braided my hair. Yes, imagine these Steiner ears poking out from behind my braids. I looked like a mouse, but they all thought I was really pretty.
Regardless, the wedding was...interesting.
And to write every detail would be veeeery long and tedious, therefore I am opting to do a comparison. To put it into perspective. Mind you, this perspective has been skewed after enduring a week long Senegalese celebration...but it's all true nonetheless...
*while young women in America rush out to have a crazy, drunken bachelorette party with their closest friends, Senegalese girls have a hair braiding party to see if she cries. It's all women, and the bride to be is in the middle of the circle getting her hair braided in "cosan," a traditional style that includeds gold earrings being put in the hair. which brings me to my next point...
*Americans are lookin for a rock, but there are no wedding rings in Senegal...just in the bride's hair.
*There's no need to rent the country club, church, or local VFW, it's all outdoors, all at your house!
*While American women diet like crazy to fit in their dress, Senegalese women are fed gossi (a rice, milk, and sugar porridge) every night after the wedding to fatten em up for their husbands.
*No stressing out about who to ask to be your bridesmaid, if you're lucky and have enough money, your friends and family will do "hotesse" and wear the same boubou.
*No having to cut the guest list down, we like em big, and we like people to come from Dakar to Mauratania. Thousands of people coming to your wedding...that's just normal.
*Instead of having to invite your annoying family members/inlaws, you have the griots which go around singing your praises and demanding money. Trust me, these griots are way worse.
*Our brides do white dress, white veil...Senegalese prefer dark, and head covered and face covered with thin black veil.
*Instead of getting walked down the aisle by your father or family member, you arrive in a bundle at night to be brought to your new husband's mother.
FOR THE RECEPTION...
*Fancy feast, killing a cow...same difference. Lots of meat...lots.
*Instead of open bar, there is lots of sugary, cold, cow's milk (kossam)
*There is no buffet style, but it is BYOB (bring your own bowl). Everyone brings a lunch bowl to my house, and then everyone gets one of those, and one of meat and rice, which is from the groom's house (that is as long as the bowls last).
*And instead of waiting for the bridal party to arrive, we sit on mats with 50 people on top of you, waiting for lunch to come.
*You don't throw rice at the new bride and groom, rice is thrown by the talibe boys fighting over the left over lunch bowls.
*No DJ or string quartet, but get someone a bowl, and get to clappin and you got yourself a party.
*There's no introduction or dance of the new Mr. and Mrs., it's more like..."Where are they at all??" The bride's confined to a room, and the groom is MIA so he doesn't have to give money to people and can avoid the madness.
*Crying cause you're happy is replaced here with giving money away to people. LIterally everyone is asking for money, and people of the groom's family are supposed to give money.
*Where we spend lots of money on finding the perfect wedding gift, they bring over the "bagage" which means a million bowls, pans, clothes, etc...all gifts for the family, and most will be given away to extended family and friends.
*Going on a tropical honeymoon destination is ALMOST the same as a month long stay in your sweltering hot new room. (You can leave in the evening to get ready for the night with your husband.)
*Finding a Holiday Inn to house your guests isn't a problem, they'll just stay at YOUR place.
*Last but not least, when in doubt...invite a foriegn, white girl to dance, entertain with her language skills, and give money out because we all know...those American girls just LOVE a fairytale wedding...

And fairytale it is...
whether here or there, one thing is true...thus far, as crazy and chaotic and different as these weddings are, or are from the wedding I shall have (Inshallah), they have turnned out successes, with two people joined. Families and friends happy, full, and wishing the newlyweds the happiest of happy...